Dedicated to MaryAnne Ysabella Brave and Friends

• Ysabella Brave:  An Historical Perspective •

Originally Posted 1100 H PDT  26 JUL 10

Greetings:

 

I generally find history to be a good read.  In my younger days I could curl up with a good novel, but for the past thirty years or so I have pretty much limited myself to reading history or science.  I read science because I am an amateur astronomer.  But history is by far my favorite.

 

My particular specialty is Mid-Twentieth Century Military History.  This translates to World War II.  It was the single most important event of the Twentieth Century.  Its repercussions continue to affect our daily lives to this day.  Despite the atrocious nature of the event, there were many scientific and social benefits generated by that war.

 

My library on the subject exceeds 300 volumes.  Although it does not grow as rapidly as it did a decade ago, it nevertheless continues to expand.  My pride and joy is Samuel Eliot Morison’s fifteen volume US Naval Operations in World War Two.  Morison was a prolific and gifted naval writer.  He also wrote, along with Henry Steele Commager and William E. Leuchtenberg, The Growth of the American Republic.  That is probably one of the best revisionist American history texts ever written.  Of course, if you wish to learn economic revisionist history regarding the United States, then you should read The Rise of American Civilization, by Charles and Mary Beard.  In any case, you will not be disappointed.

 

I have curtailed my reading over the last two years because I have taken an interest in writing.  This was brought about by an extraordinary young lady who performs magnificent interpretations from the Great American Songbook.  She is also endowed with unsurpassed creativity in composing and performing her own compositions as well — and these only account for a minute fraction of her creative genius.  But I will not delve into that subject here.  Today I am writing about history.

 

Last night, recalling the United States had successfully launched an expedition to the Moon some forty-one years ago this month, I decided to Google  some imagery from that historic era.  I happened upon one particular photograph which I found to be more than astonishing.  I found it to be unbelievable.  Yet, there it was, staring me in the face.  It piqued my interest enough to dabble in some random historic image research to verify this overwhelmingly unique archival photograph upon which I had stumbled.

 

My research has borne fruit.  I publish below a series of photographs I discovered upon subsequent research.  I have captioned them accordingly.  They seem to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt one of two possibilities.  Either Ysabella Brave has been misleading us about her age or she possesses, in addition to her multitude of other extraordinary talents, the ability to travel through time.  This was a double whammy for me since I am interested in both science and history.

 

As always, I encourage you to perform your own research and publish your results below.  It is not as difficult as it may seem.  I found all the published photographs within a few hours.  Your comments and historical interpretations are welcome as well.  If you do not find any of the photographs below on Google, just give them a couple days to catch up.  If you do not believe me, check Google  images for Ysabella Raven.  Enough said.  My historical treatise follows.

 

Your Pal,

Clamchucker

•       •       •       •       •

• The Apollo Moon Mission •

This is the photograph which instigated my research.  I was absolutely flabbergasted.  Ysabella Brave maintains she was born in 1979.  The first Apollo  moon landing occurred in 1969, a full ten years (and several months) before her alleged birth date.  The only possible explanation I can fathom is that she is indeed a relativistic sojourner.  When taz271  put up his Ysabella, Fly Me to the Moon  tribute on YouTube  in 2008, who could have dreamed Ysabella Brave would take him literally?  But there she is, in full lunar regalia, right down to the NASA  name tag on the moon suit.

 

It is typical of Ysabella Brave’s modesty that she has never bragged about or even mentioned this spectacular feat.  For one of her intellectual capacity and talents this is probably an “ho - hum” accomplishment in her own eyes.  I am still amazed.  One thing is certain:  Ysabella Brave will not be wanting for green cheese.  I just hope she took enough crackers with her to enjoy the fromage fest.  Eat your heart out, Jules Verne, she has lived your dream!

• The Nixon - Khrushchev Kitchen Debate •

In 1959, some ten years before the moon landing, then US Vice President Richard M. Nixon and Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev engaged in what became known as the Kitchen Debate.  A model American home was built as part of the American National Exhibition  in Moscow.  This was during the peak of the Cold War.  Both the US and the Soviet Union were engaged in extensive propaganda wars as well.  Nixon used the exhibit to tout the higher standard of living for the average American citizen.  Khrushchev used it to point out capitalist decadence.

 

Khrushchev, who was despised in the US at the time, was actually a somewhat enlightened upstart of a super-power leader.  You might say he was a piece of work.  The image of him pounding his shoe on his desk during a United Nations meeting in order to gain the floor is classic Khrushchev.  His brand of diplomacy was far outside the mainstream.  The man had character.

 

The photograph I found by random Google  search shows short and bald Khrushchev in the light suit, on the left.  Nixon cannot seem to take his beady eyes off the very pretty model holding open the clothes dryer door in the exhibit.  Who can blame him?  That is what caught my  eye.  If Ysabella Brave was in Moscow in 1959, how does she manage to look so young and beautiful today?  It is truly a conundrum.

 

Neither side won nor lost the Kitchen Debate.  The world probably fared a little better though.  It was the first high level meeting of the two powers since 1955.  The one thing both Khrushchev and Nixon agreed upon was the necessity for both nations to be more open with one another.  The gentleman to the right of Nixon is Leonid Brezhnev.  He became the Soviet Premier in 1964.  Khrushchev became the first Soviet Premier to successfully retire without dying in office or being assassinated.

• The Big Four:  The Yalta Conference •

By February, 1945, the end of World War II was in sight.  In fact, the war in Europe would end some three months later.  The three major powers of the Allied Forces, the Soviet Union, the United Kingdom, and the United States held a summit meeting at Yalta, in Crimea.  The Big Three, as they were known, were Joseph Stalin, Winston Churchill, and Franklin D. Roosevelt.  The purpose of the conference was to discuss the postwar reorganization of Europe.  It was one of the more famous summits of the war, for it determined the future of Germany, Poland, Yugoslavia, and Japan.

 

The photograph I found shows, left to right, Winston Churchill, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Joseph Stalin.  The reason I named this The Big Four  is just behind Stalin’s right shoulder.  You will notice Ysabella Brave smiling as she looks at President Roosevelt.  I might add she is looking as lovely as ever in 1945.  There never would have been a World War II if she had only performed the Truth  (January 27, 2008) for the Axis powers before Italy invaded Ethiopia in 1935 (The Second Italo - Abyssinian War ).  Some historians consider that to be the outbreak of World War II.  It was all downhill from there.  the Truth  is Ysabella Brave’s plea for world peace.  It is one of her best compositions.  As you shall soon see, she may have been around for the Second Italo - Abyssinian War  as well.

• Ysabella Earhart, or Amelia Brave? •

Attention conspiracy theorists:  You may rest assured the Amelia Earhart question has been put to bed.  Call off the search.  We found her.  One look at this 1937 photograph of the world’s favorite aviatrix puts the kibosh on any questions as to whatever happened to Amelia Earhart.  She dumped the Lockheed Electra  to single-handedly compose and perform unprecedentedly complex and beautiful music beginning in 2006.

 

I can tell you one thing.  That Fred Noonan was probably the luckiest man on earth to be able to sit in the right seat, so close to such a beautiful (and intelligent) pilot.  Ysabella Brave could even make Off We Go, Into the Wild Blue Yonder  sound sexy.  She was sitting on a beach on the Hawaiian island of Kauai on July 2, 1937.  She was blocking out how she would manage her hair in her upcoming slapstick video, We Are a Powder Drink  (August 20, 2008).  She cell phoned the US Coast Guard patrolling near Howland Island in the Central Pacific Ocean and told them the Electra  was low on fuel just to goof on them.  The rest is history.

• Ysabella Brave and the Great Emancipator •

We are moving into the Nineteenth Century now!  This girl certainly gets around!  Here is photographic evidence that she stopped by the Lincolns for a visit with Abe and his son, Tad.  It is probably in the early 1860’s.  Abe has the phone book out and they have just secured the number for the local pizzeria.  Now they are negotiating what goes on the pie.

 

Tad has a somewhat dejected look on his face because Abe and Ysabella Brave have just settled on anchovies.  Tad does not like anchovies and just wants extra cheese.  This may end in a compromise to save their pizza ordering union.  Abe is taking a conciliatory tack by offering to order anchovies on half the pie.  Ysabella Brave advised them not to call Sherman’s Pizzeria  because Sherman always burns the pie. Please note that they will be using Ysabella Brave’s cell phone to order from the White House.  Abe says if they go out on Pennsylvania Avenue to order, they would have to use a phone booth.  Abe does not want anything to do with a booth.

• Ysabella Crossing the Delaware •

On Christmas Eve, 1776, George Washington, commanding the Continental Army, launched an amphibious operation from Pennsylvania, against the Hessian mercenaries stationed in Trenton, New Jersey.  He broke with several traditions.  Wars were generally not fought in the winter at that time.  Night operations were nonexistent.  These tactics were rarely, if ever employed.  George was quite successful in this battle.  The element of surprise secured victory for the Patriot forces that night.

 

Washington won only three out of nine battles he commanded during the War for American Independence.  Two of those battles were in New Jersey.  This was one of them.  The third was Yorktown, which forced the British surrender and the end of a bitter seven year war.  New Jersey is often referred to as “The Crossroads of the American Revolution.”

 

During my Google image search last night, I happened upon Emanuel Gottlieb Leutze’s famous 1851 painting, Washington Crossing the Delaware.  Just about every public elementary school in the US has a copy of this painting hanging somewhere.  Upon closer inspection, however, I noticed a very familiar and pretty face.  You guessed it!  It is none other than Ysabella Brave.

 

Above is a detail from the painting.  You can see our girl is the forward port oarsman.  There is a reason for that funky look on George Washington’s face.  He has just announced that he split his pants all the way up the back.  Ysabella Brave has turned her head to spare herself embarrassment.  There are just some things a girl of her stature should not have to endure.  Besides, although it may not be as treacherous as the YouTube  stream, she must observe what is transpiring in the river.  She is endeavoring to keep George’s socks dry.

•      •      •      •      •

My limited research, instigated by my stumbling upon that obscure NASA moon photograph, has resulted in my landing in 1776 with Ysabella Brave.  If my arithmetic is correct, that would represent a 234 year span to 2010.  This can only lead to one conclusion.  Our girl is indeed a wormhole wanderer.  We know, or at least we are pretty secure in the thought that nobody can possibly live that long, although I would not mind giving it a shot.  I have independently and unwittingly discovered yet another amazing talent, hitherto unknown, that Ysabella Brave exploits with relatively carefree abandon.  It would not surprise me at this point if it turned out she knew how to fly by flapping her arms.  This is a truly remarkable and talented woman.

 

As I mentioned in the introduction, I invite you to add historical Ysabella Brave sightings to this list.  The War Department  has already informed me there may be a possible connection between Ysabella Brave and Cleopatra, the last Ptolemaic potentate of Egypt.  As Thomas “Fats” Waller said, “One never knows, do one?”

 

 

Photo shop is a wonderful thing